I’ve run into a time of questioning God today, quite like a brick wall really.
A family lives next door who has seen more than their share of hard times in their lives. They originally lost their home two years ago, but have since been moving from job to job, surviving by whatever means they can muster up. We met them after their father found a job as a driver for a widow who lives on our street. For the last six months, all seven children, both parents, and their grandmother have all been living out of two small cement rooms---no heat, no life.
The children each have a unique twinkle in their eyes. And they make life colorful in whatever ways they can---you walk into their “home” and can’t help but smile at the pictures drawn on the walls by creative minds and hand-me-down crayons. And it never fails to blow me away, because one thing is for sure…if I were in their shoes, I would have one heck of a chip on my shoulder.
This week, they’ve found themselves between a rock and a hard spot. The father lost his job due to the fact that the family they work for is moving. The job that he had been guaranteed fell through and he was not informed until the day before his entire family was supposed to have all of their belongings, along with themselves, out of their place. In short, they were being kicked out, and had no place to go.
We went over there two nights ago, and the whole family (which they say we’re part of) gathered around as we prayed for them, and told them a story of God’s provision. We assured them with confidence that God would also provide for their family in this time of desperation.
We told them this, yet tonight we watched helplessly as they packed up their few belongings, and moved out of their home. They have no place to go except for their home in their village, which has no roof or floor. And it looks like rain tonight.
So how do I even say this? I know that God has the power to provide a job and a house for this family in the next five minutes if He chose to do so. I admit that I question why He doesn’t, especially when this could be such a powerful testimony to this family of His faithfulness, and result in them really coming to know Him.
I know better. I know better than to question Him like this, than to stray from my trust in His faithful character like this. It's just so hard when you want to see His power evident in life sometimes. I have no fancy words to express it, it's just the cold hard truth.
There are so many times here that I want to harden myself against the pain I see in this place. It would be so much easier….not to literally feel the pain of these people and own it—as if its me who has lost my children, or husband or home….or all. But I can’t do that, and the day I do is the day I should just go home.
So instead I feel it, I really feel it.
“wrap us up, warm us through, tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs. Let us slumber, safe from dangers with you this time. Or maybe not, not today. Maybe you’ve provided other ways. And if that’s the case…We’ll give thanks to you, with gratitude, a lesson learned to hunger after you. That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead…” -Nichole Nordeman
