Laugh or Cry? Hehe..

I love how I react differently to things than I would have in the past, now that I've lived in the most chaotic and unorderly place that the world has to offer (dare to challenge me on this?)

There are simply times in life when you just have to laugh, or else you end up in a puddle of tears on the floor. And where's the fun in THAT?

My friend and I are heading north for a trekking expedition, and yesterday we spend a good chunk of our lives getting plane tickets to make this possible. What was supposed to take 30 minutes ended up taking 5 1/2 hours. Story of my life...and anyone else who has ever spend 10 minutes in a third world country.

But while we were in the dirtiest little airline office that you can imagine (in a small way, it looked a bit like what I imagine Hell to look like), I found myself laughing at my surroundings. We'd been waiting for a good 3 hours, and in walks this cowboy straight out of Texas. He resemembled Willie Nelson with a slight haircut and 60 extra pounds. And a beard that would make any male in this country proud. His loud southern accent cut through the silence like a blade, and with one word all eyes were on him. I felt his pain. But stalky Willie took it in stride. Despite the fact that NO ONE could understand his accent, and that he had no photo ID,...AND that there were 50 people ahead of him in line, he managed to get his tickets and out of there in 10 minutes. Hats off to you cowboy...grrrrr. The girl sitting beside me loved American culture, so at least this sparked a converstation of whether or not cowboys STILL exist. I assured her they did, except that these days cowboys have to add gas prices to their other concerns.

Even the typical South Asian stare was making me laugh. That dead on stare, like there's no life flowing through the veins...just shock at the sight of a foreigner. I've heard that some people return home and suffer from something called "celebrity complex"--having a hard time not being stared at anymore. I guarantee you, this will not be the case with me! It's utterly ridiculous.

So I'm rambling...I'm actually procastinating in my packing. We'll be embarking on a week long trek of one of the most beautiful mountains this country has to offer...meeting people along the way. I'm SO excited. I've been planning and hoping for this opportunity my entire stay here, and God was so faithful to open the door unexpectantly. One lady told me that last time she did this trek, she couldn't walk for a week and all of her toenails fell off.

Bring it.

Don't Let Me Come Home A Stranger

lyrics by Fernando Ortega

Will there come a time when the memories fade
and pass on with the long long years
When the ties no longer bind
Lord, save me from this darkest fear

Don't let me come home a stranger
I couldn't stand to be a stranger
Lord, save me from this darkest fear
Don't let me come home a stranger

There are times when this fear is very real. When I think about coming home, I'm filled with mixed emotions...mostly positive. But then I dread the feelings of having this incredible experience that I won't have the ability to express to people the way I so wish I could. And one of the hardest things of being over here has been missing out on loved ones' experiences back at home. Experiences that have undoubtedly changed them. I do feel like a stranger at times.

But I was talking to my best friend in the world this morning (a.k.a. Miss Leah Lohse...truly one that this world is unworthy of, especially me.) In her wise words, she reassured me that I won't be a stranger, but I will be different. Different because throughout these past two years God has been molding me and ridding me of past junk (a shameful amount, folks...and still plenty left--trust me). But I was once again encouraged, because even though outwardly I truly am wasting away (thanks to this South Asian environment and the lack of beauty products available to make up for it) inwardly I being renewed and shaped and molded...and at times having my spiritual butt kicked. But its worth it.

Breakin'

I'm really excited and grateful...not only because I have high speed internet for the first time (in let's just say a LONG time), but also because I'm heading to Thailand for a couple weeks to get a nice break. I've got great plans to soak up some sun, get in some great morning runs, and drink some much-craved Starbucks coffee!

The past couple months have been nothing less than insanely awesome and busy--so much so that I find myself incredibly grateful that I've experienced and survived them!

Lately I've really been reflecting on my time here, and as it continues to draw to an end, I'm filled with mixed emotions. Certainly excitement for the next step in this crazy spontaneous life, and a restlessness to reunite with my loved ones. But I'm not naive to the fact that this place has found a very comfortable position in my heart, and it's just never going to leave...

You Know You've Been to the Village When...

You know you've been to the village when:

1. You take your ponytail down and your hair remains in the same position.
2. You're more familiar with a tree than with a western toilet (or squatty!)
3. Your chai intake is so great that it's oozing from your pores.
4. You've lose all touch with formal manners, and your fingers become
perfectly acceptable eating utensils.
5. Simple story: your scalp itches.
6. wet wipes are multi-purpose--toilet paper, facewash, shower...
7. You become one with nature, including rodents, spiders and mosquitos.
8. You can cook over a mud stove like you learned the skill in your mama's womb.
9. You embrace bed bugs as a fact of life.
10. You can't remember how to speak english.

I hahn foe teef puhed!!!

That's right folks, I had 4 teeth pulled...for the grand total of $300!!!! I made a last minute appointment for an examination, and afterwards the doctor was like, "So are you ready?" And I was like, "what, NOW?!?!?" You simply can't find this at home. I still can't get over the cheap benefits of living in the part of the world. A couple of weeks ago, I got new glasses for about $20. I didn't know what to expect, but I'm telling you-----QUAL-I-TY. I'm going to go into cardiac arrest when I get home and am reintroduced to the expense of things. I'm already trying to prepare myself!

So I saw the funniest thing while I was waiting for my friend in the Doctor's waiting room the other day. I was dozing off in a very comfortable oversized chair, when this teenage punk with oversized pants struts by, on his way out of the building. So I'm watching him walk towards the exit, thinking, "surely he realizes that that's a window--NOT a doorway." The word "STOP!" was on it's way out of my mouth when he runs smack dab into the window, full speed ahead. And left his facial imprint on the glass. Immediately he looked around to see who had seen, and immediately I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. I can relate with the poor fellow..that type of behavior is right up my alley. But it kept me laughing for a few hours.

"I was afraid of you Julius. I only saw what I was afraid of. And now I know I was only hating my brother." -Remember the Titans

Carried to the Table.

Lyrics by Leeland

Fighting thoughts of fear, wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup? This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness the Savior called my name
In His holy presence I am healed and unashamed

As I'm carried to the table
Seated where I don't belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love

And I don't see my brokeness anymore
When I'm seated at the table of the Lord
I'm carried to the table
The table of the Lord

If I had any skill whatsoever in the department of communication, this song would speak my heart loud and clear. It's never fun coming face to face with your personal junk and blackness (a.k.a. "sin") but is necessary in this divine cleansing process, I suppose.

But I love this song in it's full meaning, and I don't take the phrase "carried to the table" lightly, because I couldn't do it myself. I can't do it myself.